I stared down at my phone screen, drafting and redrafting the perfect bio that would help me land my one true love-or at least a coffee date. Nothing so long that a potential match might swipe past, but nothing too short that would make it seem like I didn’t care. After all, I spent almost an hour curating six photos of myself that were both cute and conversation starters: vintages dresses, bookstores, me in a ball pit-typical artsy girl. There was a lot I could put in my bio that would highlight who I am: Writer, Hufflepuff, Virgo, Pumpkin Spice Connoisseur and, oh yeah, queer AF.

I tried queer dating apps for the first time-here’s what happened

Dating in a small rural town is hard; dating in a small rural town as a queer person is its own level of difficult. When I returned to my small conservative town as a liberal queer woman, it was a bit of a readjustment period. How do I tell people? Do I tell people? How out is too out and, more importantly, how do I date?

I’ve never done any dating via apps before or after I came out as bisexual. I had lived and worked on college campuses and could always find my people.